For much of my adult life I have known that an inner battle was being waged within me. This battle has been with the knowledge that if I let my guard down, the power of addiction could easily overtake me and allow what for most people is a casual drink...
Fighting Fear…and Sometimes Losing
Lean into the emotion they say. Let it wash over you they say. Once you have accepted the emotion...let it go. Ok that is all fine and good but as I prepare to have my brain scanned today...I am truly terrified that they will find a tumor, or something bigger...
Down for the Holidays…
The changes in my life have me questioning a lot of who I was, who I am and who I will be and at this time of year, when everyone around me seems to be filled with the giving spirit...I can't help but feel that there is something wrong with...
Old Endings…Or New Beginnings
I sit here preparing for my weekly therapy session and think about all the things that have changed recently in my life. The loss that I have experienced in the past 6 months has been incredible, the changes in my life and lifestyle have been dramatic, my health while stable...
Once Upon a Time…
Every great story of my youth began with the simple terms...Once Upon a Time. Now as I have grown that is no longer the case. It was a simpler time when we could be taken away to a different world and a different time with just 4 words. As I...
Combating the Emptiness
One of the biggest challenges that I face on a daily basis is the feeling of emptiness that I feel. It doesn't matter what am doing (professionally, personally, emotionally or physically), I can't help but feel that there is this empty pit that never seems to get filled. I have...
Feeling of Loss
Too much has happened to me in recent days and weeks to truly put into words how I am feeling but I will try. As my world that I have so carefully built up around me crumbles, the sense of fear and helplessness seems to want to over take me...
What Do I Do Next?
Life is filled with many cross roads. There comes a time when all things that exist must make a choice...to exist or to cease to exist. Each day I wake up and make a choice to exist. To move on. To live. To thrive. Most days I don't second guess...
Reflection, Repose and Release
My life has been more than a little chaotic lately but a recent experience is one that I absolutely must share. My time in therapy has tought me that my emotions are not only to be listened to; but embraced, encouraged and enveloped. This new found realization has led me...
Much has happened…and I am OK
The past couple of weeks have been more than a little challenging. I have experienced extreme loss, overwhelming joy and all the ups and downs and sideways turns that in the past would have sent me spiraling out of control into fits of anger, rage and self destruction. The loss...