The past few months has been both glorious and challenging. While I feel my heart filling with joy and happiness, there has been an emptiness that I have really struggled to find a way to fill. This struggle has lead me to self medicate in ways that are dangerous both for my health but also most recently, for others in my community. I am not going into details about what I did, but I am profoundly ashamed of my actions and as I now am faced that not only am I a BPD survivor…I must now focus on becoming a survivor of Alcohol Addiction.
Yes, I am an Alcoholic. For many years I knew that Alcohol was a challenge for me, and most of the time I kept in check by acknowledging that I have a struggle…but this week it became so completely apparent that it is more than a struggle…it is an illness. One that I am not capable of dealing with alone.
I have begun the effort (and man is it ever an effort) to support my recovery in every way that I possibly can considering my now interesting circumstances of being basically housebound.
I am not my disease(s) but at times…they certainly make it difficult to not see it that way.
I deeply regret my actions that have placed me in this position, but for the first time in my life, I realize that I am not able to do this by myself.
If you are struggling with addiction…don’t wait to hit rock bottom. Don’t let yourself lose all that you hold dear. Ask for help. Seek guidance and find your best path to a healthy recovery.
Alcoholics Anonymous – Find a meeting near you, and gain some insight into finding yourself again
Addiction Treatment Options in Canada – Help is out there…reach out…you are not alone