Despite all the work that I have done to find the peace that I deserve, I do find myself feeling lost in the process of growing into the new me.
This new me that is supposed to emerge from being in tune with my emotions and acting with my wise mind instead of acting on the impulses of my former way of thinking has been a very tough challenge indeed. While I think I am doing well in putting the focus where I need to be in this moment, I can’t help but feel the need to really look at the feeling that I continue to go back to…being lost.
I feel at times that I am lost in the process. Who I was was not good for me, I was not good for the people that I love and my future was very much in question as I was not able to effectively navigate the challenges that we all face.
I feel at times that I am losing myself in this position of growth. Who I will be will be very different that who I am. I logically know this, but it does not change the fact that for 44 years I was one person, and now I will be someone new. The transformation that I am making is radical and challenging. My beliefs are altering, my reality as it is now, is already different than it was.
I am taking each moment as it is. I may feel like the path that I am on is not the one that I saw for myself just a few months ago but it is the path that in this moment is the best one for me (or so I hope).
I chose this new reality, or maybe this new reality chose me but I am going through this process with an open mind and a loving heart…something that in and of itself is something very new for me.