Accepting Change

One of my single greatest challenges in my life right now is taking the time to accept that I can not change or fix other people.  I am only responsible for myself and the growth and change that I am going through right now as I learn to cope and live with my Borderline Personality Disorder has been really, really hard in the past couple of weeks.

I have had to take a step back from the things that I thought that I needed.  I have had to accept that at the same time as I am not responsible for other people, I do not have room in my life for those who can not or will not accept that the person I am today is not the person I was yesterday and very likely won’t be the person I will be tomorrow.

This detatchment from the things that have been a driving force in my life has really been cathartic in allowing me to see things for what they are and not trying to make things how I want them to be.

I find myself looking at all aspects of my life right now and really centreing on doing some self-love.  It has never been easy for me to accept myself for who I am.  I have always tried to be someone or something else for others and in the process I have done a lot of things that are not healthy for my mental or physical well being.

For anyone out there who is suffering through the holidays like I am and marking time with some aspects of what was, while trying to chart out what will be…I have one piece of advise:

Accept today for today.  Nothing more.  Today will be what it will be and when you can truly embrace that concept of living in the moment and be mindful of the good and the bad…neither one of those things will control who and what you are.  You will just be…and that is a wonderful feeling (even if it can be a little lonely at times).