One of the biggest challenges that I am facing in the transformation of my entire existence is just coping with the amount, frequency and severity of the change that is going on in my life right now.
Being awakened from the dimness that was my life before my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder has truly been life altering…in so many different ways. I feel further away from who I was than I ever have felt in my life but at the same time, I am more like the person that I know I should have been all along.
The isolation of not being able to drive right now due to the medical suspension of my Driver’s License has me relying on others to do things like go to the grocery store or to the closest Walmart and all my many Doctor’s Appointments.
I have lost relationships, built new ones and strengthened others but all through this…I see one constant within my life:
Being TRUE to MYSELF!
I at times feel like I am being swept up by the drama that surrounds me…but then I take a step back and realize that when I experience the moment…the drama that I am at the center of is exactly where I am supposed to be.
My diagnosis may be one of classic BPD but my symptoms are far from all the horror stories that you may have read or experienced. I have always tried to be a better person today than I was yesterday…I was just looking in the wrong places for the answers I needed.
I am armed with a will, an intelligence and a love that will see me through all of this change…I just hope that I can survive the coming shit storm that is bound to be on the other side of the fence…it may not happen today, next week or even next month…but I know that more is coming and with a steely eyed resolve I am preparing myself to take in the next chapter and not only survive but thrive!