Much can be said about the realization that living with a Mental Illness is a constant battle. For myself, my recovery and very survival is entirely based on my own desire to live a life.
Just a few short weeks ago, this desire was called into question as my existence was torn apart. In the span of days, I lost a great man to suicide, found out my mother was going to be taken from me by Cancer and my fiance could not continue to be that.
My life as I knew it was over.
I had didn’t think that I had the will to continue…and yet I am still here.
So what has changed?
Not much…well that is not entirely true.
A lot has changed.
I now live alone with my 17 year old daughter, I see my ex-fiance every day for most of my waking moments but my life has meaning!
My recovery and treatment is underway. I have my first therapy session finally booked, I am taking my medication everyday and I have a renewed connection with those who truly matter most.
Sure, losing people is tough. Devastating really, but for me in the now…it is not an option to just give up.
I will not pack it in so easily.
I will fight.
I will defy the odds.
I will become whole.
These are not options. My recovery, my happiness and my sanity all rest on my own will, determination and desire.
If you don’t have the strength to carry on in this very moment…I am here to help.